Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A song to sing..


There’s poetry in nature.
There’s a simile hiding behind a tree, a metaphor yearning to be free.
There’s an onomatopoeia right beyond the green;
 a crackle of a twig, the rustling of leaves.

There’s a rhyme in every flower, a sonnet waiting to be heard.
An alluring alliteration acquaint able and askew.

Drenched in a rhythm, almost a waltz in submission;
A denouement, much more an exposition. 


Tried to give you summer, but i'm winter.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

And just why do I get high?


“They give me disease, they give me a pain in my neck to feed off me”-John Frusciante.

Ricochet through the good times. Rumble with incoherent banter of the babble that spills love that surprises me the morning after. The bottles opens, my lips quiver with excited anticipation of the times to come. Flowing down the throat, the slow poison drowns my being into an emanation of love. Beaming with a radiant gleam of happiness, my being zones out into a parallel state of me.

A utopian state of mind descends upon a brain cranked up on endorphins. The world turns slowly, yet the time passes by so fast. Ascension from a lull into primal state of being with needs and wants only affixing themselves to basic needs of man, a contextual state of bliss slowly seethes in.   

Each gulp brings you closer to euphoria. Every sip opens up a jar of happiness that not only stems from you but branches out and breathes. Smiling faces, lips stretched from ear to ear and the auto-pilot mode your body goes into. Numb with a certain level of detachment and reattachment to the thought process that press the most touching issues of the hour, shake hands with me.

Living in my being day in and day out, a certain amount of time spent being detached is rejuvenating to say the least. Drowned in generous amounts of euphoria, the state of being not only absorbs me in completely but also becomes a weft of me.

Pushing, pulling, absorbing, every step of the way seems like a walk into the abyss. It’s a lovely moment which I tend to spend drowned in happiness in a world that gives me enough and more reasons to not believe in happiness and love.

Giving into reckless abandon is therapeutic. It’s a spa therapy for the soul, one which at times condones logic and reasoning – perfect for this illogical life.

Explanations are excuses. And I love explaining why I love getting high. With each passing day, crawl further towards death. In a state of thought that purports my yearnings of the sweet nectar, yet in many other only logically states that I should be far more generous towards my personal happiness.

 Ways and means turn up a new page of discussing the pros and cons of the medium yet I tend to take only to alcohol for reaching the heavens. Weed and hash just don’t seem to take to me kindly. I only get overtly hungry and lazy, all of which I love but then again not something to look forward to. That kick of craziness just doesn’t come through so easily, probably because everything becomes such a task to manage. If I wanted my world to get tougher I wouldn’t have been getting high in the first place.

Disconnection with the world and only focusing on the task at hand is what I feel lovely about when indulging the sweet poison. Such positive vibes flow through me that it’s just plain stupid not to partake in the revelry within. Give in and feel the love cast its spell slowly, steadily. The world slowly lifts off its mask and becomes a tad easier to believe in.

Not as an exit but more like the Promised Land. The alcohol might serve as a portal for escape but to me it’s a getaway to a land of happiness and love. Not delusional but just plain descriptive.

In me, within me the liquid flows down into the depths of me. 

“A liquid embrace to chase the day away, sweetly she draws me into her arms.” “The dark mistress of many, beholden to none.”  –Randy Blythe.

Court her, be together – in sickness and in health and flirt till death do us apart. Every drop serves to make you smile. Stepping up the levels of euphoria with endorphins going berserk, the mind feels a numbing calm descend over it.

Slip down the chasm of self and into a never-ending void, a void that delivers you from being. A being that has been shaped and contoured by the society which smothers an individual for the ‘greater good’ of the collective. 

Drink, converse, smile, be. Uncomplicate and indulge. 

Simplify life and live in the moments that weave together to become a life time.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Ineffable. Unspoken. Unsought.


“I’m as dark as December; I’m as cold as the man in the moon”-Sting.

Lines that draw between the unspoken; blur, bend, twist & contort: In & around every phase of me.
The golden age of being, of existence and of the state of me. I am you and you are me. Blend. Breathe. Exist. Be.

Walk down a flight of stairs to the wine shop and get a bottle of wine. Pay for it with means that serve you and walk right back up. Slowly as you ascend, the flight of stairs feel like a stair way to heaven. A one way ticket to your being. To revel in the spirit of me. The spirit of me.

The spirit I would soon engulf, swallow, slithers down my throat, starting from my mouth flowing down into my stomach and the core of me. I speak of me, as frequent as I be as I see.

Now, descending into me is my being. It is me who lowers my existence into the deepest depths known to me. ‘Me’ figures again so as to paint a figure that eludes me, in state of consciousness that I cannot see.
The brain comprehends, establishing an element of time. Of space and travelling to & from the eternal.
Every moment that passes by, yawning of it’s spawning. Thawed into being, pushed into seeing, the wine kicks back. Pushes and pulls me into a lull of euphoria. To revel in this phase of my hour, is to dwell on the pieces of me that lay scattered. Scattered yet one. One yet many. For I have not won, but spun into this myriad abyss that absorbs me further.

Further into the void. The void of me.

The void of being. The void spun by the society around me, to suck into it’s vice grip that tightens its noose around me. A slipknot that with every passing moment, only seeks to asphyxiate.
It’s not all that bad, when the day has been mad.

Had, which slipped through my fingers. Fingers that couldn’t hold on. Don’t get me wrong, you are the eternal. The golden being. The very droplet of rain that brings warmth. Fold the mould and watch it bend. Push the point, that stands at the joint. The joint that takes you from anorexia to gluttony. From an altering state of mind, to the truth you stand to find. Where every millisecond, my mind can only unravel as much as it can decipher. In this state of its enigmatic existence, is what you find that is the truth. The truth eternal. Which can stand on its own two feet of faith and move forward only as its veil is lifted to reveal a null.

The kingdom come, of which only some. Only some. Would make em, swallow that glum. That rum which overpowers the wine. The wine that only makes your transcend. Into, through, me & you. It’s this spirit that I feel, it’s this spirit that makes me squeal of things unsaid. Unspoken speaks more than words. The silence that falls still, the moment that holds in. The yearning that makes believe. The lie that’s woven, the words unspoken.

From me to you, & from you to me. What we are, is what we believe. But step back, take a plunge into the beauty of being. The joy of existence, of breathing this air. Makes it all fair, bright and colorful that drenches in it, the spirit of me. That spirit of me, far removed, I seek to find. To me, to bind. The spindle of time, that weaves every moment into the very fabric of my soul. The golden threads of this connect with you.

Connect this connect, don’t disconnect and select. A fresh new being, a fresh new soul. A fresh new you, and a deep black hole. The mole that turned into a mountain shall boast of its rise to fame that seeks to flame everything held dear. The ascension through phases, the phases of me. The me of you and the you of me. Of each other, we draw. Little by little, drop by drop. Until we stand still & then we stop.

Swim into me, sink into me. Blink not your eye, for this moment shall cease. The continuum of space and time, of words and rhyme. Of birds and the wind chime, of sounds and breaking new ground.

Till these words that escape my vein, they shall stand stolid. Stolid not the word, you perceive only as you believe. You see as you wish to seek. To seek only what ye know. To lands beyond, to kings dethroned. To minions controlled and the mind on a leash. The leash, that works as a harness of taking me back and forth. On this day, the fourth; I declare sanity in insanity. Of logic & reason, blending together the spirit of this season. With no rhyme and reason, I move further towards the deep, the darkness that lay below me, gentle as it absorbs, brings me in. Into its ineffable self.

Of words that leave my fingers, of veins let loose. Of blood that is flowing, of thunder that shall follow. The calm that hangs low before the storm, of me and my form.

From the C, to the A. From the D to the E. Oh dear you; who might read, this tyranny of me. This unspeakable state I see, this unfathomable darkness that descends, into, under and through. This darkness that absorbs seeks the light at the end of the tunnel. A funnel that only takes, as you move further. Further to conquer the unknown. The ineffable. The unspoken. The unsought.

Above & beyond, of none he knows. Of equality of gender, of this world that whips people together in a blender.

Of times spoken as golden, its words that solder the meaning, the purpose. The adipose, the bereft, the line of it and the disparity within.

Mind games that serve, serve a purpose of swerve to the rhythm of the soul that lays unconquered. Of winds, and moments spent. Of ticks & tocks, of clocks that wound. Boiled, filatured. unwound.
Condense into me. Oh ye the reader, despite you be that part of the despicable me which might read from the eye but not from the heart, I banish thee to my fleeting memory. Shall I come across as bare and barren, shall you not make sense of all this spoken and felt.

Cards were dealt, shall you draw a joker. The joke which leaves you speechless is what I leave you to guess. For if you shall not feel my feeling, shall not hear what I’m hearing. For you who shall not see what I’m seeing, or connect with my being. It is you who shall stop this instant, to move further is not too distant. Make amends, think from your mind and feel with your heart. It’s only our open arms that populate the swarms with the love that we speak, of shall not depart back into that stolid state of me.
Drift away, float into me. Don’t stand there staring, it’s not for you to see.  

To make sense, is futile. To think it over, is vile. Live. Breathe. Exist. Be.

For when you shall feel from your heart & think from your mind, is when you seek and you shall find.



Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A weft

I wasn't meaning to write this post, exactly as i haven't posted in a long time. But what had to happen, finds its way out - through a thought or a meaningful plot, what is left at the end is what i initially sought.


Laughter and smiles, the beautiful world divine.

The green grass and the deep blue skies,

Each lending its own to make a wonderful life.

With love abound, be you lost or found. It’s these small little pleasures that make the world go round.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

2011

The year of new beginnings of sorts. quit smoking finally ! although i did smoke yesterday since it was a big corporate event and after a couple of drinks loved smoking ! went partying with friends and just partied the night away. got a job in 2010. that was quite a new thing in ways more than one. no more smoking. i actually want to go away from it all and live in mcleodganj for a while photographing the world. take 2 guitars along to give me company and the lonely abandon would be exactly what i want in my life right now. just drift away from everyone and start fresh relationships. Just want to live in a wood cottage by a hillside and click life. photograph it and lose myself in music. dissolve into the music and exploring life all alone for a month or so. grow fresh vegetables and fruits and cook my own food. climb rocks, trek mountains and snow board. listen to pink Floyd and get lost in the midst of nature. explore new relationships. build new connects with nature. keep a few dogs as pets. explore life in a non conventional way. find love. fall in love with nature and adventure. pursue photography more seriously. do a castaway of sorts. disappear.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Now you've got something to die for.......

the world spins madly on......

Fallen from grace right into this myriad abyss....

everything seems so irrational....

the thin red line between love and hatred is undefined...

love in totality is a mystery unto itself....one which shall take a lifetime to understand.....for it seems

everyone around me already understands....but still it escapes me !

and yet again...returning to solace....sometimes i feel...i was looking for love in all the wrong places....

love is nothing material that you'd find it in a single thing or object or anything inanimate or human.....

its the amalgamation of feelings and emotions which take you by a storm....we attach it to things thats a

different issue.....

why cant we be happy all by ourselves......

for this world makes us depend upon things....makes us addicted to its way of things...

for i don't know what is going on......

At least now i understand that alcohol or weed or any other thing which gets u inebriated/intoxicated doesn't

serve as a solution to the problem,

rather acts as a parallel mindset taking you away from all the worldly affairs at least till the time you're intoxicated....

escapists ! sometimes running away from the reality is the only means of getting back at it...

people have forgotten what they want in life...for they have replaced happiness with material

things...everything takes a back seat when it comes to work or earning money...

people have transcended from earning to live,to living to earn and finally into earning and earning only...

why living such a life ? which promises nothing but material things ? happiness....has been made material !

every thing's fast turning into a corporate tool...to make money !

from selling love..on valentines day to fresh water ! from selling cancer sticks to people to fresh air...

everything will eventually have a tag on it....with a bar code adoring it ! blah...a bright and brilliant

future awaits us !!

Emotions also have been put a fucking tag on....from "love guru's" to dating website's,
Everything has a fucking price to it...

happiness has been pushed away into the myriad corner's of our mind's and we fail to acknowledge it,we just

keep on searching endlessly for something that comes from the inside....

Media has made us judgmental about everything,for it seems we follow it blindly.
Be it fashion,News,Shopping and whatsoever....

We just have stopped using our own minds..everything is just spoon fed shit...

"Fashion trends" that make healthy women go anorexic...
Technology which makes us just sit on the couch all day long....
Advertisements which mislead people to "drinking diet sodas" for those intending to lose weight...and which

make us buy a concoction of chemicals which they refer to as snacks...

The lust of money has seduced people into selling each other's soul...if they had to....

Is this the so called "progress"....The so called "evolution" ?

We've just sold our soul to fulfill our material greed....